There The Story Goes part III

The next day, he looked for the camera, but… He still couldn't find anything… “What’s wrong with my crazy stupid little camera?” The shopkeeper looked at Phil (What’s wrong with this man?). Phil was kicked out of the shop by the shopkeeper. He went back to his apartment and switched on his laptop. He looked at the location of that small camera. He viewed it for a minute… three hours… And, “OH MY GOD! I forgot to use my special glasses” (special glasses to look at invisible objects)’>.<’ He looked for his glass, “where did I put it?” He searched for them everywhere, and gave up; he sat down on his cozy sofa for a while and think… “2 days ago, I went to that shop with Nelly (the girl he met in STARBUCK), I went back home with glasses in my coat’s pocket. Now, where is my coat? *OH, I took it to Laundry Service.” He ran down to Laundry Corner, he asked the maid to find his coat. Finally, he found his glasses. And… OH!!! (Corrected)

To be continued………………..

Again Cindy, this is really good. You have answered the questions you left us with at the end of the previous installment and set up some new ones to maintain the tension. I'm actually reading this story as a reader first and then going back to it as a teacher. You have completely cleared up most of your problems with tenses now and although you're sticking on articles a bit, most of your problems are vocabulary based. Have you got a good dictionary on your computer? I use mine all the time.

Well done Cindy, keep it up.

There The Story Goes part III

Continued by Cindy.

The next day, he looked for that camera
(this is fine but perhaps the camera '2nd time rule') ,
but… He still didn’t find anything
(again, not really wrong but it would have been better to use he couldn't find it)…
What’s wrong with my crazy stupid little camera?” The shopkeeper looked at Phil (What’s wrong with this man?). Phil was kicked out of that shop (the shop) by the shopkeeper. He went back to his apartment and switched on his laptop. He looked at the location of that small camera (ha ha). He viewed it for a minute… three hours… And, “OH MY GOD! I forgot to use my special glasses” (special glasses to look at invisible objects)’
very good - what are the differences between look at/look for/watch>.
<’ He looked for his glasses, “where did I put it?”
(Glasses are one of those strange counter intuitively plural things. We say a pair of glasses and a pair of trousers so the word is replaced by the pronoun them.)
He searched it everywhere (he searched for them), and gave up; he sat down on his cozy sofa for a while and think (hmmm, I think you know what the problem is here. It would be neatest to use an ... Infinitive of Purpose, so, he sat down on his cozy sofa for a while to think)… “2 days ago, I went to that shop with Nelly (girl he met in STARBUCK)
(second time 'the girl he met in Starbucks),
I went back home with my glasses in my coat’s pocket. Now, where is my coat? *OH, I took it to Laundry Service.” He ran down to Laundry Corner, he asked the maid to find his coat
(What maid? Whose maid?).
Finally, he found his glasses. And… OH!!! To be continued………………..