continued by Cindy Siwan.
As he'd arrived in his apartment, he switched on his laptop in order to spy the situation of the jewelery shop. He looked at his laptop for a minute... an hour... two hours... five hours... and switched off the laptop, he didn't get any precious information. The next day, he went back to the shop to unplug the small camera, but he couldn't find it, "where is it?" He checked every side of the shop, unfortunately he didn't find anything. *OH MY GOD! That's the most expensive camera that I've ever had! ~_~"* He went back to his apartment and checked the signal of the camera from his laptop. There is a signal from the camera, it must be stuck on the wall of that shop, so why couldn't he find it? (Corrected)
To be continued.......
As he'd arrived in his apartment, he switched on his laptop in order to spy the situation of the jewelery shop. He looked at his laptop for a minute... an hour... two hours... five hours... and switched off the laptop, he didn't get any precious information. The next day, he went back to the shop to unplug the small camera, but he couldn't find it, "where is it?" He checked every side of the shop, unfortunately he didn't find anything. *OH MY GOD! That's the most expensive camera that I've ever had! ~_~"* He went back to his apartment and checked the signal of the camera from his laptop. There is a signal from the camera, it must be stuck on the wall of that shop, so why couldn't he find it? (Corrected)
To be continued.......
This is fantastic Cindy! The story is really getting interesting now. I love that you've set up some tension with the mystery, a true cliffhanger. So who's going to continue the story? I can't wait to find out what happens next. On top of that, there are some superb structures here, I'm very impressed:
"he switched on his laptop in order to spy" this is great, - one small thing, you normally spy on someone or something.
"he didn't get any precious information" again, fantastic - precious is a lovely adjective but it is usually used for things that are important to you on a personal level. Kind of, things that are important to your heart, things you love.
"The next day, he went back to that shop to unplug the small camera, but he couldn't find it, " Remember the work we did on articles, as the shop has already been introduced, you can use the for the shop. It's the 2nd time rule. After that, you use a great infinitive of purpose: - Why did he go back to the shop? To unplug his camera. - spies use small cameras, they are usually referred to as miniature cameras.
"He check every sides of the shop," oops, I think you know what the main problem is here. Every, is used with singular nouns - remember the Police song - Every breath I take.
"That's the most expensive camera that I've ever had!" Brilliant!
"There is a signal from the camera, it must be sticked on the wall of that shop, so how can't he find it?" A couple of little tense problems here. Stick is irregular - Stick, stuck, stuck. The last question should read; so why couldn't he find it?
All in all, a great chapter in the continuing drama of the mysterious Phil.
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